Going Gray

What I Learned about Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood, Authenticity, and Everything Else That Matters

“To read Anne Kreamer’s Going Gray is to enjoy that comfortable illusions that you are chatting with a friend. A friend whose confidences are told in a way that’s concise, entertaining, and thoughtful.”

— Maud Levin, The Chicago Tribune

Anne’s Actual Age: 49; Estimated age w/ Brown Hair: 44.9 & w/ Gray Hair: 47.8

Allison’s actual age: 31; Estimated age w/ Brown Hair: 37.5 & w/ Gray Hair: 39.9

Barbara’s Actual Age: 51; Estimated Age w/ Brown Hair: 39.8 & w/ Gray Hair: 47

Bonnie’s Actual Age: 42; Estimated Age w/ Brown Hair: 36.1 & w/ Gray Hair: 39.9

Emily's O's Actual Age: 43; Estimated age w/ Brown Hair: 40.2 & w/ Gray Hair: 43.9

Emily T’s Actual Age: 38; Estimated Age w/ Brown Hair: 32.5 & w/ Gray Hair: 38

Tom’s actual age: 48; Estimated Age w/ Gray Hair: 50.7 & w/ Brown Hair: 48.6

As research for Going Gray, 500 people responded to a survey Anne designed to probe people’s concerns about aging. In the photo section of the survey, she wanted to answer the $64,000 question: exactly how much older does gray hair make people look, and is it regarded as inherently unattractive? Anne asked two 30-somethings, two 40-somethings and two 50-somethings, two with naturally brown hair, one who’s gray, three who use artificial color – to pose for pictures. She posed too. Anne then had the images Photoshopped to produce 14 images: all seven of the people as brown-haired and as gray. Each survey contained randomly selected versions of each person.

A given survey respondent only saw each face once, either as a brown-haired person or gray-haired and related questions: Would you fix this person up with a friend? How old do you think this person is are?

Anne's assumption going in was that people with gray hair would be deemed less attractive – that is, less likely to be chosen as a fix-up for a friend. And in a section of the survey where she simply asked women if they thought men find women with gray hair less attractive, by a two to one margin the respondents said yes. But the results of the almost-identical-twin photo-test went the other way, completely surprising Anne. For Barbara, who has a lot of dark hair, the Photoshopped-very-gray hair did indeed maker her perceived as less fix-uppable, and for the fake-gray, 38-year old Emily T., there was a tiny disadvantage. But for the rest of the people, four out of six women, there was a modest but consistent advantage in fix-up-ability for the gray-hired versions of ourselves.

And gray hair made only the youngest of the women and the one man – Alison, Emily T. and Tom – appear older than they actually were. To Anne, the data indicates that when gray hair is age-appropriate (from our 40s onward) we don’t actually fool people about our age when we dye it.